If depression was a person, she would be the ultimate party pooper. Always showing up uninvited, and taking over the entire room with her dark and gloomy presence. But what if depression decided to turn a new leaf and start giving you affirmations? Here are some hilarious affirmations that depression might give you:
Affirmation #1: “You know, you’re really good at sleeping. Keep it up!”
Depression loves nothing more than making you stay in bed all day, and what better way to celebrate that than to give you an affirmation that encourages you to keep doing it? Who needs productivity when you have the sweet, sweet embrace of a comfy bed?
Affirmation #2: “It’s okay to cancel plans. Actually, it’s preferred.”
Depression hates socializing, so she would definitely encourage you to cancel all of your plans and just stay home. Who needs to go out and have fun when you can just stay in and wallow in your own misery?
Affirmation #3: “Don’t bother showering. Nobody will notice.”
Depression loves to make you feel like you’re invisible, so why bother showering or getting dressed? Just stay in your pajamas all day and blend in with the furniture. Who needs personal hygiene when you have self-loathing?
Affirmation #4: “Why bother eating a balanced diet when you can just eat ice cream for breakfast?”
Depression loves comfort food, and nothing says comfort like a big bowl of ice cream for breakfast. Forget about fruits and vegetables, just eat what makes you feel good. After all, food is one of the few pleasures in life, so you might as well enjoy it while you can.
Affirmation #5: “You don’t have to be happy all the time. In fact, it’s better if you’re not.”
Depression loves to remind you that happiness is fleeting, and that it’s okay to feel sad sometimes. Actually, it’s preferred. Who needs to be happy all the time when you can just embrace your sadness and let it consume you?
In conclusion, if depression decided to start giving you affirmations, they would be hilariously depressing. But in all seriousness, if you are struggling with depression, please seek help from a qualified mental health professional. Depression is a serious condition that requires proper treatment, and there is no shame in seeking help.
Disclaimer: Depression is a serious mental health condition, and it is not our intention to trivialize or make light of the experiences of those who struggle with it. The following article is meant to be humorous and lighthearted.